Girl With A Curl

No Fit No Where

Well, it’s pretty clear to me that no one is reading this blog. That’s okay as I’m pretty sure I don’t fit into the blog-o-sphere. Or any other sphere really. I’ve come to that conclusion as well.

I have never fit in. Anywhere. Ever. I have always felt the oddball. The one-off in a family of five. One-off in grade school, middle school, high school, college. One-off on the job. One-off when it came to dating and how crazy is that when dating only includes two people (in my come-from-place, that means the first date is the beginning of “til death do you part” or you become a town whore, whichever comes first). I received a lot of side-eye during my dating years which, btw, no longer concern me. So, yeah. One-off no matter the circumstance, the grand party, the super event. I have hosted social gatherings so it’s not like I’m an alien. I just go through the motions, smile, and try to feel human until it’s the event is over and depression sets in.

They have pills for that, I know. I’ve taken many. However, pills have never succeeded in making me feel like I was a part of anything.

Wow. This really is turning into a public diary, isn’t it?

That’s ok.

Nobody is reading it anyway. Well. Maybe somebody.

Comments ( 2 )

  • Just stumbled on this, as I saw your painting of Billie Holiday. I feel like this a lot too, so I wanted to relate, and let you know someone is reading your blog, even though I just found it. I’m an artist too, but can’t manage to get it together to make a living as one yet.

  • Wow. I just came online to do maintenance and here you are … someone who found my site and read my blog! Thanks for letting me know you’re out there. I’m in the same boat in terms of that living. Still. We are artists and creating is as relevant as breathing. It would just be so lovely to know the stories we are compelled to paint, write, sing, etc., sync with others on a meaningful level. Whatever that means. And, I suspect my own compulsion has everything to do with a secret desire to live forever despite knowing death is one day imminent. Big sigh and on that morose note, I’ll sign off, wander off and venture off to my easel and do what I must. Hey, I really appreciate that you stopped by and commented.

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